Tuesday, February 19, 2013

"A Memory That Fades Away"

Sanctus Real sings in their song Legacy,
"What will they say when I'm Gone, in words
That are written in stone?
Under my name, what will they claim
About me?
Oh, I want to leave a legacy to be remembered
More than just a memory that fades away
Because we only, we only get one life" ("Sanctus Real Lyrics")

These lyrics mean a lot to me, since it describes my feelings exactly. I worry about being forgotten, others being forgotten. I worry about 'forever.' Now that seems rather 'romantic' or dramatic to me, but it is true. I love to write, despite not being that good at it. I think, "If I write a lot, something will be kept and then I'll be remembered."

So here I am, jumping into another blog (don't go searching for previous attempts...) trying to make myself write more and more often and better. Trying to share some history with the world no one. Not just history though, I like all sorts of things. I enjoy reading books, watching Once Upon A Time, watching the Tour de France, eating good tasting food, painting or drawing art, admiring art, and listening to music. And I feel like it is time for me to put some effort into writing thoughtful bits-of-writing.

Here's my unofficial-don't-keep-me-to-my-word-here goal: write "thoughtful bits-of-writing" (copied from the sentence above). I want to write about things. Besides that, my goal is kind of vague. Which can be good because I don't have very good self-discipline when it comes to goals. In fact, I never make New Years' Resolutions because it won't happen if I make something one.

Anyway, keeping with the theme I began with, I am currently asking myself "Why bother studying, learning, knowing history?" Besides, that is, the cliche answer: you're doomed to repeat you past so learn it and be prepared. This is because I am beginning to also wonder "What should I do with my life?" and so far I have come up with two topics: German language and/or history.

History to me is like a never ending fairy tale. It is still happening and it has happened. It also is full of crazy stories like the Gunpowder Plot and the court of Henry VIII of England. It continually amazes me to learn about history, that the people back then were much smarter than I ever thought they were and pretty much just like a different civilization/culture than mine. I have begun to categorize the people of history as another civilization(s) just as different, unique, and interesting as the Chinese are to me.

If anyone has ever read the book Timeline by Michael Crichton or seen the movie adaptation, then you will understand when I say that I want to be them, the characters of that story. To be Andre Marek or Chris or Kate has become a dream of mine. Now I've also grown up with a physics teacher as a mom, so I understand the physics difficulties and some of the science behind it. I have no desire to be broken down to atoms and put back together somehow in 1357. And I realize it is all science fiction, as of yet. However, the chance to meet Lady Claire (who, I admit, I like better in the movie than the book), or for me to meet Eleanor of Aquitaine or Elizabeth I or travel in China back in the 15th century or meet Jahanara Begum would be the most incredible thing ever. I "dream about going up there (but that is a big mistake, just look at the world around you, right here on the ocean floor!)" -couldn't help myself, Under The Sea- to go back in the Roman Empire at 0 CE/BCE or walk the streets of Paris in the 1920s. Midnight in Paris is one of my favorite movies since I can completely relate to Gil.

(Let's make this clear now, though I may write more about it later, I enjoy European History the most. American History bores me and I have not had the chance to learn about African history or Asian history yet. I am interested in learning about Asian and/or African history in the future, but for now, all I really know is European history.)

Since I find history so entertaining, I have thought about majoring European History in college. Which leads me to my question: "Why study history?" (I find that many things I enjoy are pointless and useless.)

So as I began to read an insightful article on the very subject by Peter N. Stearns (http://www.historians.org/pubs/free/WhyStudyHistory.htm) I learned that history is very useful. He writes that through history, we can learn about humanity, it gives us knowledge of where we came from, and also give us an identity. History, as written by Mr. Stearns, allows us to "understand change," provides us an example to look to when we come to parts in our lives we do not know how to overcome. It also, he mentions, makes people better citizens. And on that last point, it has for me. Before taking an AP Euro course, I had not appreciated our government here in America. I wondered what was the point of voting. I didn't care. And now I do more. I have not fully been cured of that yet, but I am much better. Much more appreciative.

So history is useful. That was what i wanted to know and I suppose many people out there should know that. And I have decided that I simply like history because it's so interesting, so relatable. 

So to conclude this struggle with my love for history but uncertainty of its use, I have come to the conclusion it is worth it despite all the hard work and days of doubt I have already come across in my AP Euro class. For this stage of learning will end one day and I will look back on this class with admiration that I survived and the great amount of information I learned from it. History improves the future.

Thank you to Peter N. Stearns who wrote that lovely article that made sense and a difference to me. 

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